(Ensemble Stars!! Main Story) Chapter 145: Confess

[distortedheart]

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Story: Ensemble Stars!! Main Story
Characters: Tatsumi, Mayoi
Translator: distortedheart (twitter: adriessene)
Proofreader: holicstar

Location: The Hanging Gardens (day) ✧ Summer (about ten minutes later)

Tatsumi: ......

Mayoi: ... You don't look as cheerful as you always do, Tatsumi-san.

Tatsumi: Hm? Um, does it really seem that way?

Mayoi: Fufufu. I'm... sensitive to the negative emotions of others... D-Does that disgust you?

Tatsumi: Not at all. In fact, I find you quite adorable, Mayoi-san.

Mayoi: I-I'm more shaken by being called adorable than I would be if I were called disgusting!?

Tatsumi: Fufu. Regardless, I'm quite alright. No matter what challenges have come my way, I’ve thought of them as trials sent to me by God— and I've always overcome such trials so long as my spirit remained full of forgiveness and tolerance.

However. Now that we've finally come together as one and pooled our strength to crawl up from the bottom of this pit of hardship... I can't help but be concerned— won't my bad leg be a problem at some point?

I suppose you could say my anxiety about it has begun to creep up on me. I've grown increasingly depressed, worrying that my leg may give out at a critical juncture.

I just keep thinking, "What should I do? What if we fail because of me?"... What if, one day, while we're climbing to the top... we fall all the way down because of me, and me alone?

Mayoi: ......

Tatsumi: I'll admit, I do have a tendency to worry in excess. And I do accept what God may have planned for me, but...

... If I were to get Mayoi-san, Hiiro-san, and Aira-san wrapped up in my suffering... I'd never be able to move on, even in death.

It's only been a month since I met all of you, and yet, it surprises me how dear the three of you are to my heart.

Compared to all the days I spent recuperating in the hospital, or even the era I spent fighting endlessly, known as a lonely revolutionaryー

Right now, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I know I shouldn't think so highly of our time together now. I’m aware that, at present, people call us slackers, and underachievers, and they look down on us... And yet...

I just can't help it. I find myself hoping that these days will never end.


Mayoi: ... They won't. I'm sure of it.

Tatsumi-san, it's because you're so unflappable, always supporting us and shepherding us, as calm as can be... that you're the one who's cleared our path forward.

I'm sure that only a delightful and joyous future awaits us on this path. I think we should believe that and press onwardー side by side, as ALKALOID.

Forever and always, Tatsumi-san. Scary as it is, if we're given orders, we’ll carry them outー face off against Crazy:B, take on the MDM, and save ourselves...

No matter what, we'll always be together as ALKALOID.

You may worry your leg is a burden, but it's okay! Even with my soul as filthy as it is, I’m living on without an ounce of shame, sooo...!!

Tatsumi: You're right. Fufu... Mayoi-san, you've always had such a negative disposition, and yet now you're the one saying these things... It truly moves me to see how people are always changing.

ーSurely, I, too, must have changed somewhat? Just a little bit, for the better?

Mayoi: I think so...! When we first met, I thought you were so pure that it scared me, but I've slowly come to think of you as someone reliable and cool!

I-I mean, that's just my personal opinion, butー!

Tatsumi: Thank you, Mayoi-san. Though... even when we first met, I really wasn't pure at all.

While I was in the hospital for a long, long time for my injury from the accident, I took an honest look at myself and reflected on how I'd spent half of my life up until then. I'd say the way I am now is the result of that objective self-contemplation.

For better or for worse, I had ample time to look at myself in acute detail.

And yet, when we spoke with Eichi-san earlier, I claimed I had not a single blot of darkness in my heartー I insisted on it.

I just lied to myself, acting as if I was too good a person to find an excuse to speak ill of Crazy:B.

Guilt gripped my heart, and I subconsciously resisted it. It was a spur of the moment decision; I tried to gloss over my faults... I'm still as immature as anyone.

Mayoi: T-That's normal! Completely normal! Take a thing like me, for instance! I don't do anything but make excuses and lie all the time!

Tatsumi: Fufu. This isn't a matter of comparing myself to other people; it's something I, personally, can't forgive myself for... Ahh, the Kingdom of Heaven remains still out of reach, and the Lord's will yet unknowable.

Mayoi: I-I-If you're worried about something, I can maybeー hear you out?

I'm not a priest, so I'm not qualified to hold a formal confession for you, but you've helped me countless, countless, countless times, Tatsumi-san, soー!!

Tatsumi: The feeling is mutual. Still, it makes me quite happy that you offered.

Then, perhaps I should confide in you a little... It may come off as if I’m complaining, and I'm certain it won't be easy to listen to.

I’ve hurt someone before. No, perhaps I should sayー I may have destroyed the one, lone person in this world, who was so desperately trying to survive.

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